Make a Balanced Marriage

YEY!! The weekend is here. Many of us are planning to make parties with our family members, get together with our friends to have some fun time after a week of hard work. And some of us (like me) can’t wait for tomorrow (October first) to attend Annual Persian
Fall Festival (Mehregan) which will be held in Irvine, California.

Let’s think that our life was just Work, Work, Work, no free time and no weekends.

Firstly, it may seem how productive each of us would be, but for how long??!! Some of us may think we could just work and fulfill our biological needs and just serve our community. Yes! That’s possible. But, could we; as social beings, benefit from a healthy life
with out having social support from family members and friends? Specifically, could we; as immigrants, who have been migrated from a culture in which family has high priority live alone and still enjoy our life fully? Most probably not.
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During young ages of each person’s life, it may be fun for a while to enjoy singlehood but this time does not take a long. We get to a point where we really feel that we want to be
emotionally close to a person as our partner. A person with whom we love to share our life. To whom we can trust. That’s no body rather than our soul mate. We get married with our soul mate and build a family.  The family is consisted of at least two individuals. So, how nice! We and our partner enjoy our life as members of a family. But Hold on! Is it just only ENJOYING???? So what has happened to our personal goals? Where is our privacy as an individual??? YA! At first like for many young singles, getting married seems the ultimate goal. We expect only positive things will happen after marriage. It seems that after marriage everything automatically will go on well. I wish it was true in the real social
life. But reality reflects the opposite story: Both of partners as members of family now have huger responsibility to make balance in the family. Now, we should prioritize the tasks in specific way in order to fulfill not only our personal goals but also the family goal (s). So, its time to make priorities in our life. We should take the respect to take care of our personal emotional health. And also, fulfill emotional needs of our family members.  It is really crucial that from the very first moment of our family life, we take care of the relationship between us and our partner. It is not like everything will go on well in our relationship without our full effort. The intimate relationship between two partners is like
a growing plant. If we don’t take care of it, it will die sooner than we even know. Based on my personal experience, partners should at least have one meeting session each week. During the session, they should talk with each other about the week which they passed. The difficulties which they faced at work and the challenges they faced in the relationship with their partner. Also, they may determine their personal goals and how they like to achieve it. So during these sessions, the partner could give advices to each other in order to become closer to their personal goals.

The spice of family life is having shared goals. By having shared goals, partners will become emotionally closer to each other. They will have common cause(s) to live for. And their marriage will get a meaningful direction. Most of us take care of our marriage. But how can we be sure that our role is effective. I believe that when in a marriage there is the balance; partners are enjoying the healthy marriage. By this, I try to highlight the importance of having balance in life. When a person could equally take care of different aspects of an intimate relationship, it reflects that he/she is able to construct the balance. Does this reflect that making balance is a simple task??? I personally believe that creating balance is a challenging affair for each individual partner. But this does not mean
it is unachievable. Let’s share our ideas about how to make a balanced marriage…